Tired ramblings

So tired.

We let Josh taste a bit of plain yogurt last night as a test to see if he had outgrown his dairy sensitivity.

Test failed. Midnight to 7am was one big blur of 40 minute cat naps while he tried to sleep, woke up and whined, tried to sleep again. I will not be trying that again any time soon.

Since we were so out of it, Jeremy and I decided to walk to Starbucks, and ended up just having a great morning walking and talking and really connecting with the fact that we are moving in a week. Its surreal, and not just because I lack REM sleep.

We are so comfortable here, and we're jumping into something so unknown. Everything is going to be exciting no doubt, and challenging, but in what ways? All I can do is wonder and wait. Will the connections Jeremy and I have made in Portland grow? What new connections are waiting to be made? And what will life be like?

We had our going away party this weekend, fun and sad. But almost everyone there will be in the Portland area sometime this year, so it wasn't so awful. And we get to see Don and Cindy so soon, its hard not to be excited about that. Everything is working out....so now what do I focus on next?

In which I write far too much about my life

Wow, life has been busy. I've barely had time to think, let alone blog, so this post is way overdue. Life hasn't been particularly difficult or stressful, but with the move so close Jeremy and I have been busting our butts getting ready. Add to that the crazy growth Joshua's been experiencing (with the additional needs and time that takes) and it adds up to one tired mama.

We found what we think will be a great apartment in the Bull Mountain neighborhood of Tigard, 8-10 minutes southwest of Portland on the 99W. Its a two bedroom on the third floor (top floor) in a nice complex with its own playground. Hopefully that bodes well for the family friendliness of the neighborhood. My brother Dirk checked it out, and he's the type of guy that if he likes it, then you know its good, cause he doesn't get excited all that easy.

We got all rushed and packed everything away, only to discover that the move date is 9 days away, and we don't have anything left to pack but the last minute pieces. (And all of Josh's toys. I keep explaining that its just for a couple weeks, but he's not buying it.) So, all the prep that can be done has been done. Moving Van, Apt, Utilities set up, Non-Essentials packed. Done.

Now what?

Catching up with my life. I finally got to send some recent pics to the family members, and posted some on facebook for the rest of y'all. Josh has four teeth now. The top two are very much in, but will probably grow a bit bigger before they are done. He's a speed demon crawling master, getting into EVERYTHING, way too strong for his own good. Pulling out the cat box, lifting up the baby gate (when its not snapped in), he can even lift himself up briefly by pulling on our dresser drawers. He's pulled himself to standing, one handed, and is letting go more and more frequently to see how long he can stay up.

He's also learning some pretty big things. The internets say he's learning categories right now, and lots of dexterity with his hands. I can totally see the second one, cause he's picking up every little tiny thing he can see, and then putting in his mouth and scaring me half to death. And he's discovered that saying "mum mum mum" gets him picked up and loved, so its become his mom/dad/caretaker word (it occasionally shifts to "mama" and I get all excited)

Until yesterday, he really was having a hard time sleeping, and eating solid foods, all due to his crazy busy brain, so they say. (They being mommy-bloggers, child development experts, and various other parenting websites) But finally, we've had two nights in a row of decent sleep, and he's napping IN HIS CRIB right now. (For almost three weeks, we've had to hold him or drive him in the car to get him to nap at all) So maybe he's finally finished the growth spurt he was working on, and now is winding down to routine and normalcy again. God, that would be great. Fingers crossed.

And now I'm going to stop typing cause this is becoming an novel. Next chapter: How to keep a 9 month old (yes, he really will be 9 months old on the 8th) busy and calm during a three day moving trip across state lines. Woo!

More Big Happenings

Things are progressing at a very fast pace. I have a job offer from Accountants International, official documentation pending, to start on April 6 in Portland. Katy-1, Unemployment rate-0!

Good pay, great benefits, and I like my new boss a lot. I'm very excited. I'm nervous that its so different from what I've done before, but I feel like the skills I'll be learning will be great for the future, even if I go back to accounting.

My last day at Roadside is March 31, and we move on the 1st! We just sent Max off to be in his PAALS Doggy Sanctuary in CO this morning, and are now looking for places to live in the Lake Oswego/Tualatin/SW Portland area so that I will be close to my work. One nice thing about only having one small dog is that we don't need a yard so we can look at townhomes and apartments as well as houses for rent, which makes a big difference with our budget. Yay for money savings! And yay for Max finding a happy home with lots of other doggies. I'm sad to see him go, but its such a better thing for everyone involved, I have to be happy for him too. I hope he likes his new home.

I hope we like our new home too. More to come...

The Portland Vortex

My Mom coined the phrase. She said we had opened up an energy vortex, the Portland Vortex, gave it a direction, put energy in it to make is spin, and now we are all being swept up because its taken on a life of its own.

Well yes, that is exactly how I feel. Its all of my own making, but right now, I totally feel like I am being swept up into a whirlpool, partly laughing cause its fun and cool, and partly freaked cause I might drown.

I just sent my references and salary history to Randi at Accountants International and am expecting a job offer within the week. Randi asked me how soon I could move, cause they want me now, and I said three weeks was the soonest I could possibly be there. And now its hitting me, I may be in Portland in less than a month. And we need a place to live, and to pack and to drive up. And I'll be away from my parents, who have been so amazingly helpful to have around (instant babysitters, and wonderful emotional support). And I'll be away from my friends. Yeah, the panic is trying to come up.

And then there's the additional stress of Max. Wonderful Max the Dog who just doesn't get babies. Who tried so hard, but just can't get it. He hasn't bit Joshua yet, but he's come close enough that we have decided he needs a new home. So we are calling everywhere, trying to find a shelter that will adopt him out. Sigh. It is really hard to let him go, even though it will be best for everyone. And in the midst of this other stress, its just crazy. But it'll get worse before it gets better, and that scares me the most: that Max will get more violent with Josh as the vortex continues to spin. He's never been good with stress or changes.

So, on we go, one foot in front of the other. There's no turning back now, just moving forward. Deep breaths.

My Interview

My interview with Accountants International is done, and from all signs it went great! It didn't end in a job offer, but it really felt as if they were ready to hire me today if I were available. Hopefully, they will be willing to wait until my move date, or to help me with moving expenses so I can be up there sooner.

I am nervous, and feel a bit like this might be an awful move. But at the same time, it feels exciting, exhilarating to see a new path in front of me, rather than the well worn accountant's path.

I wish I knew that they would for sure offer me the job. Or that some mention would be made. I'm getting worried that my timeline might make or break this opportunity. I think I'll ask Randi to be sure. (Manager at the Lake Oswego office) I'd rather be proactive about it than lose the position by playing coy.

Yes, if I'm really honest with myself, I want this job. Its scary and new and might be the wrong place for me, but despite all that, I want this job. And I am going to do what I can to get it.

Portland: Update

After a phone interview and some emails back and forth, it looks like I may actually become a financial recruiter. Accountants International is flying me back to Portland on Friday for an in person interview!

Unfortunately its just a quick trip, barely a few hours, but it feels pretty awesome. Every way I look at it, this seems like a great opportunity. I get to learn about the companies in the Portland area, learn some sales and negotiating skills, and have a job right when I get to Portland. Worse case senario, I can leave after a few months. But there's a very real possibility that I will like it (from everything I've heard it sounds like something that would really suit me) so I could very well stay for quite some time. And if that happens, I could work on my MBA much easier at this type of job than in a controller type of position.

The only thing that really scares me is this sense that at this point in my life, I should be specializing rather than switching careers. But the skills will be so invaluable, that doesn't bother me very much. Anyway, the interview is on Friday, so I will know more once that is complete.

Yay! Big adventures!

Portland Trip: Download

Wow, what a whirlwind trip I had. Six days in beautiful Portland (hardly any rain while I was there - really gorgeous).

First let me just say to everyone one I met and everyone who reached out a hand in friendship, thank you. You cemented my love for Portland.

I'm just going to list highlights, to try keep all the amazingness straight. (No promises)

When I arrived Monday afternoon, my first meeting was with a recruiter at Boly:Welch, a smallish firm in downtown Portland. I missed my exit, freaked out, finally found my way and parking, and walked six blocks in pouring rain (which is only did for the 10 minutes I was walking those six blocks). It felt like an awful start, and then I got to office. A fabulous office. With smiling people, free tea and coffee, and a dog at the receptionist desk. Sigh. I love you Portland.

The meeting with Juanita, the recruiter, went great. She said I should have no trouble getting a position, but that I may need to move up to Portland before she can place me. No big, I mostly wanted to get the inside perspective on hiring in my field. And it is good.

The next day I met with Amy, a friend of my boss Eric, at Water Ave Coffee. BTW, best cappuccino ever, even if it is served with a side of attitude. (my guy was very nice, but Amy's not so much) She gave me the low down on child care, schools, neighborhoods, and few companies to check for work as well. And she sent me over to PSU to check our their PBAC (Post-Baccalaureate Accounting Certificate). As a student I can put Joshua on the waitlist for PSU's awesome version of day care, the Helen Gordon Child Development Center. I went, I saw, and I'm in love. Josh is on their waitlist now, assuming that in a year (about how long the waitlist is) Jeremy may want to re-join the working class. And I'm applying for PSU as well, so we'll both be in school!

Wed was all about fun in Portland. Met some friends of my stepdad, Greg, had myself a VooDoo Doll, from VooDoo Dounuts, complete with pretzel stick 'pin' stuck in its heart, and just enjoyed downtown. Love this city.

The rest is a bit of a blur. Met with two controllers at Intel, who had great advice as far as career choices go (they also said PSU was the place to go). Had dinner with my uncle Tony and his wife Lynn (so so so good!) Had the best meeting of all with Kirk, another friend of the boss, who had so much advice and help offered, I was almost overwhelmed by all of it.

AND in the midst of this, I went to a bunch of networking events, meeting even MORE people who wanted to help me, and are still sending me listing and links and whatnot. I also met Randi, a recruiter at Accountants Int'l, who said she wanted me to interview for an open position they have as a finance and accounting recruiter. I had the phone interview on Tuesday, and I think it went really good. So who knows? There are so many opportunities and openings, I almost wonder what I'm still doing in LA!

On the move!

So yes, I am still freaking out and stressed and scared and all that. AND I am excited!

On Wed I pulled the trigger and bought a round trip ticket to Portland for February 7-10. Hopefully for interviews. If not interviews, than informal meetings with potential employers. If not informal meetings, than networking with people in or connected to my target companies.

Since the money has already been spent, I have a HUGE incentive to push and create these interviews/meetings etc. My first two days, it was damn terrifying, but now...I actually feel empowered.

So here's the deal: Since I have this small window, I have to be really proactive about my search, and in trying to be proactive I found out that I have no idea how to do that with a job search! Its all so passive - respond to listed openings and hope someone calls you. Yeah, not gonna work for me. So, though I am still doing that, I spent the weekend really drilling down to specifics that I could act on: 1)What do I want? Specifically? 2)Where do I want to do it?

What I want is a mid-level accounting position in a dynamic company, specifically software, publishing, marketing. Target companies are Intel, Dark Horse Comics, Nike (a little off of my target, but their accounting dept is pretty interesting), Knowledge University (education software), The Partners Group Ltd, and a couple others that are on my backup list.

And now I'm using linkedIn, Twitter, Google and anything else I can get my hands on to actually connect with someone at these companies and set up some form of meeting (lunch, coffee, 15 min at the office). It feels so great to take real action and be in charge of something! (way better than the normal job hunt, btw)

The hope is that even if these companies don't have a current position open for me, they may in the future, or know other companies in similar industries that have an opening, and my resume will come up because (unlike other applicants) they actually know who I am. The proof will be in the pudding, but honestly, this feels like the best way to find a job and every email I send feels like I'm getting just that much closer to my next dream job.

What's holding me back?

More specifically, what am I scared of? So, the whole story is that we are moving to Portland. But in order to move to Portland, one of us has to find work up there first. Jeremy is on track with TSA, but they move at their own slow, governmental, beaureacratic speed, so we can't really count on them coming through. Which means I am actively looking for a new job in the Portland area.

Or at least, I'm going to. I've dragged my feet putting my resume together, dragging my feet getting a cover letter written, dragging my feet looking for companies to apply for. Every step of the way, I do research, and read and think and plan, and then I feel accomplished enough that I call it finished, at least for a while. In fact, the only reason I even have a resume right now is two things:

One, I gave myself a deadline of Jan 15, which I am overdue on, but not by much. I did do a last minute push to reach that date. Two, I signed up for an online 'class' on hustling, mostly because the first topic interested me: 'Our invisible scripts and how to get over them'. This email list is constantly talking about how people don't take action on what they talk about, or how they let failure stop them before they even really start. It shames me into working for half an hour or so every time I read it.

So, even though I do have a resume and letter close to ready, it happened way later than it should have, and I'm still pretty uncomfortable sending them out at all. But why? What is the 'invisible script?' The underlying belief that stops me in my tracks?

I think its something along the lines of "There are no jobs for me up there, and no one can help me, and I'm just going to be stuck in LA forever, so I should just get used to it." Not helpful. Self-fulfilling, but not helpful. Its like I don't think I deserve a decent job or to live in the city I want to live in. I've also got another one that goes "Portland is going to suck and you are going to be so upset that you moved there, just stay in LA where at least you know you can get along ok." But I know I can get along anywhere, if I keep an open mind and let myself enjoy it, so that really is just a bunch of hooey. But its powerful hooey.

I have to keep myself aware of these "scripts" and take actions in spite of them. To test them. To prove to myself that they are bunk. The actions I'm taking right now, are to just keep moving forward. Sending my resume and cover letter to others to edit and help with, so its not just me that as a stake in it. I have to tell others about my progress. I'm making a list of companies to apply to, and I think I'll make sure Jeremy knows what I'm doing, so he can keep asking me about it too.

Most of all, I'm not letting myself stop. And not letting myself feel like simple research/reading/surfing the internet is 'progress.' I have to have something concrete. At the very least, I will write down what I'm learning and my thoughts, if researching is all I'm doing for a night, so there is something real I created that day. The only way to get there is to keep moving forward.

Holy baby bouncer, Batman!

Oh my goodness Josh has grown this week! He's crawling around now! Not super far, super fast, but three or four feet at a time, and pretty consistently too. He chases Topper around the room, to Topper's chagrin. Where before Topper was safe just moving a few feet away from Josh's grabby hands, that safe zone has now basically disappeared. Its so cool!

Also cool, he's created another hand sign. He's already been rubbing his eyes when he's tired. Which of course started because its a natural movement when he's sleepy, but now its also a communication. And tonight we found that when he grabs his fingers and holds them over his head he's asking to be picked up. He thinks its really fun that we can do what he asks. I think so too. Makes for a much less fussy baby.

He's been communicating when he likes things and doesn't like things, but its cool to get something so specific. We're going to look into teaching him baby signs, so he can tell us more stuff too. More to come.

Motivation!

Jeremy and I haven't been to the gym in a while. There wasn't a 24 hour fitness close enough while we were in Colorado, and when we got back, life was such a whirlwind that we felt there were more urgent things to handle before we could get back into our workout groove.

BUT we did get a Wii Fit for Christmas (Thank you Motleys!) and Just Dance 2 from a giveaway (Thank you Rookie Moms!) and this week we've tried them both out. Sunday it was the Wii Fit, which is mean! Not really, but it certainly doesn't pull any punches. It adjusts your Mii (Wii's version of an avatar) to be as unfit as it thinks you are, which means my mii has a big fat butt and Jeremy's is just overall fat. But then you get to the games which are totally fun. I like the balance games (hula hoop, skiing, etc) and the yoga has a center of gravity sensor that you have to keep within a little circle on the screen. Harder than you think.

Monday, we tried Just Dance 2. Very fun. Jeremy and I got two whole songs in before Joshua got antsy. And boy were we tuckered. Its a really diverse selection of music, and all of it is fun dance/party music. :D

Then comes Tuesday, where we didn't want to do either of those things OR go to the gym because Biggest Loser was on (on our new HD TV - Thank you Asburys!). And you can not interrupt Biggest Loser. No, you can not. Oh dear, what's a girl to do...I can't workout because I'm too busy watching people workout. And then, Jeremy found a solution! He pulled out the fit and did step ups, pushups and crunches while watching the show. Yay!

We each did our own 10-15 minute workouts while watching the show. Its not much, but it sure felt good. Way better than sitting like blobs in front of the TV. And it is WAY motivating to workout while they are working out. Its like Jillian is right there!

So the gym is still on the list - I need to run more to train for the Warrior Dash, and Jeremy and I both love their BodyPump weight lifting class, but now we have multiple options to get just a bit of exercise in on the days when we can't get to the gym. :D