Swing dancing hysteria

More swing dancing tonight! I was out last night for a pretty fun night at Joe's with the Campus Five, and tonight Big Manny is playing Joe's so I'm going to be right back there again. I love all the dancing I'm doing and not just cause its fun. It feels like I'm getting in touch with a part of me that's been on the back burner for a while: the chipper, flirty, up for anything Katy. That, I love. (LOVE!) But what comes with it, cause nothing is ever simple, is the doubt and the need for acknowledgment (Somebody like me....) I wish it wasn't the case, and on days when I'm already feeling good, its barely an issue, but some days it really gets to me.

Last night at Joe's I was definitely having an off night, though none of the dances I had were bad, per se. The trouble is that now I'm all nervous about going tonight. ("Oh look, its the girl who can't keep her center.") Even more so, I'm nervous about who I'm going to talk to while I'm there. Before I've always gone with Jeremy and we've had a great time. But this time, I'm on my own. Other than like two people, all I know of the LA dance scene are faces, and a few names (if I can even remember them.) And now its gonna be like "Oh, its the girl who can't keep her center, and she keeps talking to me..." Great. I'm THAT girl. Sigh.

I think the worst out of all of it is that there's one dancer that I click with REALLY WELL. Like "Holy crap where the hell did you come from and is there any way I can get you to dance with me for EVERY SONG cause you are AWESOME" type thing. Our movements just sync up. And he's even said the same thing. After dancing anyway. If I see him off the floor, just walking around, he gives me weird 'who are you' looks. I have no idea what to do with that. Its like I'm 14 and being ignored by the cool kids again. (Did I say something? Is my hair messed up? Do I have something in my teeth? WHAT?!)

Hopefully I will get to the bottom of this mystery, and get over some of this neediness and wallflower syndrome. (BTW, why is there not ONE LEAD that actually asks girls to dance here? If I weren't comfortable asking myself, I swear I'd NEVER get a dance in LA. WTF?) So yeah, nervous nelly over here will be taking the plunge tonight. Wish me luck!