Learning to Breathe While Running

Breathing while running: this is a skill that I learned a few years ago. You'd think it'd be easy, but you'd be wrong - well, at least when it comes to me. Breathing while running, really running, not just a short sprint but a nice long run, was pretty tough for me. I'd gas out so fast and my lungs would be on fire and I'd get these nasty side stiches that would not quit. It sucked.

You know what the key turned out to be? Don't panic. Don't worry. Don't get too excited. Relax. Breathe normally, and don't push it. And don't don't DON'T try to run at someone else's pace. I was never the person who was going to run a six minute mile. Ten minutes is plenty good, and as long as I accepted that was my current ability, I could relax and enjoy the run. And when I did that, something amazing happened. I could breathe. I didn't have to think about it. I wasn't panting and wheezing, I was breathing. And it felt WONDERFUL.

Why am I talking about this? Because I feel pretty strongly that I'm going through the same lesson again, but this time in my life. I am so excited and inspired by everything going on that I am rushing and pushing to get to the next thing - cause guys, every next thing is even more exciting than the thing before it. Its amazing! And not everything is perfect, but it really is fun.

The trouble is, the more I rush and sprint, the harder it is to live the rest of my life - in short, it just gets harder to breathe. I had a wonderful forced holiday this weekend and I realized I have completely forgotten to enjoy life while I was rushing to the next thing.

So, this is my new task - to relax, and keep on running.

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

I am just floored. When did my life become so exciting, and so focused? I'm sitting here in lecture, surrounded by a bunch of twenty-something college students, overhearing conversations about boyfriends and college events and how hard everything is, how crammed their lives are Oh boo-hoo. My first thought was 'they have no frickin clue' and then I remembered how it felt when I was there: what it was like figuring out how to balance work and school and life, learning what types of things deserved my attention and my energy, and which just didn't, how everything that came up felt equally important and that I had to take on and deal with everything. All at once.

Today I find myself working full time, going to school half time, raising a toddler, maintaining a healthy relationship with my husband, family and friends and carving out extra time for myself and my passions. Does it take skill and effort? Hell yes. Is it overwhelming? Not even close. Not right now. I know myself now. I know what I want, what is worth my energy and what isn't. I have fabulous people around me who are suppoortive and understanding, even as I suppport and understand them. And things that are stressful, hurtful, upseting or overwhelming are just not even on the radar. If it ain't helping me out or helping my family out, its just out. period. As the meme out there says 'Ain't nobody got time for that.'

Of course, there are overwhelming moments, but the key is to notice that I'm overwhelmed and figure out what I have taken on that I don't need to worry about. Usually its some deadline/future issue that I don't need to worry about right now - so, yay! Time to take a breath and enjoy something great.

Its really amazing to see just how far I've ccome in terms of life. I suppose you could call that growing up, but it doesn't feel like growing up. It feels like growing aware. I may not "act my age" but I certainly "act myself" which is way more valuble IMHO.

My Brain Does Not Always Have My Best Interests at Heart

I am so excited about [REDACTED], (I can’t actually talk about yet, because it’s not yet a done deal). And yet, I’m being kept up in the middle of the night with ideas and anxiety about it. Mostly excited anxiety, because I’m less worried about it failing than I am that it’s going to go so well I won’t know how to handle it. I swear, I can’t not worry – it’s going to be too good so I’d better freak out and not sleep?!  Srsly, Brain? You suck.  

Basically what I’m doing right now is blocking out time to work on [REDACTED] and not allowing myself to focus on it when I’m outside of those time blocks. I certainly have enough other stuff to do, between work, school and family. So I’m just limiting the amount of time I can work on it, and thus, theoretically, the amount of time I spend freaking out/bouncing around. It kinda works….0_o. The rest of the time, I just give in and be obsessive and crazy working at 4am. But overall, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  (And I seriously can’t wait until I can share [REDACTED] with you guys!)